Saying what needs to be Said
by cindythechef
Summary: Shawn almost dies and his friends and family make their peace with him and tell him the things they should have said a long time ago. This is a story about getting a second chance to say what needs said. This is my first attempt at a fan fiction I hope you enjoy it.


Shawn sat in his empty hospital room finally alone after a week of everyone hanging on his every breath. The gravity of what he just lived through began to sink in and sink in hard. Shawn's method of solving cases was ready, fire, aim. He lost count of how many times he ran into harms way facing the barrel of a gun when his team rescued him in the last minute.

This time though his team was a little late. He figured out who killed that woman they found in the field he was so excited he didn't even wait for Gus to go with him. A quick text to Gus and Jules and he was off to confront the killer himself. Thinking back over his actions Shawn wondered what he was thinking, did he think the guy would calmly allow Shawn to arrest him and with out a fight? Unfortunately fight he did.

As soon as Shawn cut the engine on his bike and was preparing to go to the front door the first of what was to be many shots rang out. This shot landed in the exact same spot where he was shot before. He knew that sharp pain in his shoulder meant and he tried to hide in the bushes until his team got there. Something he wasn't used to feeling was the prevalent emotion in him now and that was fear.

The text messages that were sent to Jules and Shawn hadn't even been read yet. Gus was fast asleep and Jules was heading home from a late night doing paper work with a dead phone battery. Shawn thought that any moment he would be hearing the faint sounds of sirens coming to his rescue but the longer he wait the silence became even more deafening.

The sounds of the killer's footsteps searching through the bushes began to get closer and Shawn froze. He could hear the footsteps but there was another sound that followed the steps, a pushing, almost stabbing sound. What was he doing stabbing the shrubs? Shawn thought. He wasn't stabbing the shrubs he was trying to look for the intruder and with a sickening scream the intruder was found. Shawn's leg was now affixed to the ground with a long stick with a knife on the end it looked almost like something a Native American would have hunted wild game with. Shawn took a deep breath realizing that help was not going to get here this time and he was now the wild game.

With two places on his body now gushing blood and his friends no where to be found he knew the only hope for him staying alive was to do what he did best and that was try and talk himself out of this situation or at least buy himself some time and pray that his friends "Team Shawn" would find him before it was too late.

Juliet walked into her apartment plugged in her phone and sat down to read her mail. It took the phone a few minutes to gather a charge enough to turn back on and right before she was about to get up and head to bed there was a sound that alerted her to a message.

She sweetly thought that is was Shawn telling her that he loved her and good night. She picked up her plugged in phone with a smile that made her look more like an 10th grade girl looking to read a note from her crush. When she read it her heart sank and in an instant she went from high schooler with a crush back to decorated police detective.

The message simply read, "Figured out who killed the grl, meet at farm house on 115 h and k ttyl " Then her heart sank even lower when she saw that the text came over two hours ago. She immediately called Lassiter and the Chief and set out to the farmhouse. Praying the whole time it took to drive the windy roads to the farmhouse that Shawn was waiting patiently at the street but knowing full well the idiot she was in love with stormed in to confront the guy she just prayed that he was still alive when she found him, so she could kill him herself.

Shawn finally heard the sound of distant sirens through the fog of pain he smiled a faint smile and got out a breathy "Go Team" before allowing his pain to over take him and slip into unconsciousness. The murderer that attacked Shawn so violently heard the sirens too. He finished unloading his gun into Shawn's all ready life less body and delivered a harsh kick to the head and ran out the door hoping too escape the onslaught of cops.

Lassiter was first at the farmhouse and he didn't use his siren so he was not heard. When he saw the murderer run out of the farmhouse covered in what he knew in his heart was Shawn's blood Lassiter yelled "FREEZE" when the murderer did not freeze Lassie let one perfectly aimed shot from his service revolver hitting the the murderer right between the eyes. Usually he shot to incapacitate not shoot to kill but after seeing his blood soaked clothes and thinking what he was going to find in that farm house he did not want to take any chances.

Before Lassiter could get into the farmhouse the other police officers and Jules rolled up the drive. Jules turned a sickening shade of white when she saw the amount of blood all over the yard and on the now lifeless body slumped in the yard. When Lassie came to her car she could barely speak she just looked at him with eyes filled with tears and managed to utter a weak "Shawn?" Lassie called Buzz and the Chief over and told them to stay with her till he checked out the scene and where Shawn was.

He honestly was not prepared for what he saw. Shawn was barely recognizable he was laying in what had to be most of the blood in his body with a broken of spear in his leg just above the knee, what at first glance looked like 6 bullet wounds and the right side of his face was so grotesque and swollen from that last kick to the head his face did not look like his own. Lassie was not expecting to find a pulse on this lifeless body but to his SHOCK he did. It wasn't much and it was thread at beast but there was one.

Lassie's heart had stopped for a moment when he saw the man, who he would never admit to, but counted as a friend lying lifeless but with the gentle thump of Shawn's pulse his began to beat again and at a heightened pace. He went to the door and screamed "HE IS ALIVE BUT BARELY CALL THE TRAUMA HELICOPTER" With that news Jules ran to the side of her beloved Pseudo Psychic as soon as she crossed the threshold of the farm house she caught one look at Shawn and had to run back outside and throw up. Juliet, Shawn's girlfriend had to go away and Juliet the Police Detective had to step up. With a decided breath she stepped back into the house and landed at Shawn's side helping Lassie put pressure on the gapping bullet holes.

Thankfully it was only minutes till the trauma helicopter landed in the street below the farmhouse. The medical team came running up the hill pulling a stretcher filled with equipment behind them. The medic team thankfully included a trauma surgeon and a Trauma Nurse. They got to Shawn, lifted his seemingly lifeless body to the gurney and before Lassie and Jules could comprehend all that the team was doing they had Shawn intubated and on about three different monitors and as many iv bags hung from the pole attached to the bed. The crew told them that they were taking Shawn to the Trauma Center at St. Bartholomew's and they should call his family and meet them there. With that said Shawn was loaded onto the helicopter on his way to the hospital.

Lassie asked Buzz to drive him in his car so the he could make the family phone calls and asked Chief Vick to drive Jules in her car, knowing that his partner was strong when she needed to be, but the realization that the bloody mangled figure in the helicopter was the man she was hoping to marry would hit her on the way to the hospital and she needed someone who could show better emotions the he could to be there for her.

The journey to St. Bart's was only 30 miles but those miles seemed about four times longer then they usually are. Jules sat in stunned silence trying to fathom what had just happened. Lassie busied himself with the unpleasant tasks at heand. First he called Guster, Gus would freak out and be upset but he wasn't afraid of him. He dialed and a tired Gus picked up the phone with his signature but tired "Heelloo". Lassie calmly explained to Gus what had happened and how Shawn was and what hospital he was in. He asked am audibly shaken Gus if he needed a Uniform to come pick him up? Gus just replied with a weak no and said he would see him at the hospital. Gus paled when he saw the text from his best friend still unread on his phone. He began to pray that he would get a chance to beg forgiveness from his best friend and made his way to the hospital.

The next call Lassie knew would not be so easy. Not that calling a parent and telling them that there child was hurt and might die was ever easy, Henry well Henry was a breed all of his own especially when it came to his only son. Lassie dialed the number and a very awake and irritated Henry answered the phone. "WHATS WRONG, WHERE IS SHAWN, HOW IS HE?" Taken a back for a second wondering how he knew, but where the Spencer Men where concerned he did not ask too many questions. Lassie began to tell Henry what happened and how Shawn was barely alive but was in transport to the trauma center at St. Bart's before he could finish his speech he heard a gruff "that idiot" from Henry and the phone hanging up. Lassie exhaled and sighed well that could have gone better. The rest of the car ride Lassie sat in silence praying that irritating man that drove him insane would be okay and be able to drive him crazy some more.

Thankfully everyone arrived at the hospital at about the same time. In this small and dark waiting room the friends gathered to wait on news of there psychic. Jules, Henry, Gus, Lassie, Chief Vick and Buzz all waited anxiously for someone to come through the double doors at the end of the hall way and tell them that the man who made there world so much happier would be okay.

The room was silent all the words had been spoken all that was left were six people numb with worry and the sound of the steady ticking of the clock on the wall. Five LONG hours after they arrived at the hospital a tall dark haired woman came through the doors. "Family of Shawn Spencer" before she could say another word the six worried friends were practically on top of the poor doctor begging for news. The Doctor calmly said lets all sit down and she dragged her chair to face the nervous crowed. First of all the doctor smiled and said "Shawn is alive". The six friends took what felt like the first breath in five hours. The Doctor warned but he is still not out of the woods by far. She told the crowed with a bouncy southern drawl "he is away from the bear but he has a LONG way to go before he is out of the woods".

The first words out of Henry's mouth were, "when can we see him?" The nurse smiled and said follow me she led the six friends into this large room in the ICU. When Henry saw his only son his legs gave out on him; luckily he was flanked by Buzz and Lassie who carefully helped the elder Spencer into a near by chair. The tears that had one time dried began to flow again from Jules's eyes. Gus just looked at his best friends battered lifeless body and couldn't speak. The doctor began to reassure the crowed of friends with her southern accent "Shawn in alive, he is strong and with friends like you all for support he will get through this. You all have to decide right now you are going to be strong for him and believe that he will make it"

The Doctor spent the next few minutes explaining what all the tubes and bags did and what was done to Shawn surgically. She explained that he had a few scary moments. He flat lined eight times from the helicopter to the OR but he is stable now she reassured. The Sweet Southern Belle of a doctor continued and told this group of friends to make sure you tell him everything that you want him to know. She quietly told the group that she tells all the families of trauma patients no matter how stable or not they are to make sure you say your peace to your loved one. Life is uncertain, none of us are guaranteed another breath and the fact that your loved one was given a chance to have another breath you need to make sure you tell them what they need to hear from you before it is too late. With that last word she left allowing the friends to sit with Shawn.

Chief Vick and Buzz were the first to leave. They needed to make sure that Shawn's case was handled properly. Lassie was next to leave, he knew Jules would be with Shawn as much as she could and he wanted to make sure that the work load wasn't going to get more than they could handle. Jules sat in a chair with her head on the hospital table and Gus just sat there and tried to find his friend in that mass that lay hooked up to all those tubes. Hours passed and no change eventually Henry asked Gus to take Juliet home to change and get some sleep and he knew Gus had to handle work. Henry wasn't going to go anywhere and he promised that he would call if anything happened.

Soon it was Henry sitting alone in this dark room next to his only son thinking about the words of the sweet southern Doctor. He carefully held Shawn's hand and began to tell him all the things he was always to afraid to tell his waking son. Henry cleared his throat and said, "Son when I figured out how special you were I thought that you would certainly grow up to be the best cop there ever was. I did what a lot of parents do son I planned your life for you. I put expectations on you that I never should have. I don't apologize for pushing you and driving you to perfect your gifts. Lord knows those lessons you hated so much have saved your life a hundred times over. I do regret not telling you how amazing I think you are. Emotions are hard for me, as a cop we were told to divorce our emotions but that was with crime scenes and criminals not my own son." The elder Spencer stopped talking for a minute and laid his head on Shawn's hand his shoulders shaking from the sobs that just could not be stopped. "I love you so much Shawn" was all he could get out before the sobs began again. He sobbed over the broken body of his only son for what felt like hours but then he stopped in a flash when he felt this sweet hand on his head. Thinking someone had walked in on this show of emotion he steadied himself and looked around but no one was there. Then he noticed the hand on his arm was Shawn's. Shocked and excited he leaned over and kissed his boys sweet hand. He covered his hand with free hand and continued to say what he wanted to say to Shawn. "Son I know you and I have not always gotten along, some of that was you but I think most of that was me. I don't want another day to go by without you knowing that I love you more than my own life and there has never been a prouder father than I am of you Shawn Henry Spencer. Son you are amazing and I am so lucky to be called your father" Shawn of course could not answer the elder Spencer but Henry did notice a tear fall down Shawn's bruised face.

One by one over the next few days each friend took a turn solo at Shawn's bedside and one by one they all headed the Doctors words and made sure the words that needed to be said were said. Juliet allowed herself to open up and explain how much she loved Shawn and could not wait till one day she was Juliet Spencer. She told him that she knew marriage scared him and that it was okay good things are worth the wait.

Chief Vick came in and told Shawn about the time she walked in on him playing with Iris in her office and thought how could the man who is responsible for a 100% arrest record and the man who fearlessly faced insane psychopaths like Ying sit and play blocks with a preschooler like he did not have a care in the world. She told him that her life and everyone in that stations life was better because of him. She then ordered him to get better and start bugging her at the station soon.

Sweet Buzz came in with Frannie; Frannie did most of the talking telling Shawn how much he meant to her husband and how she was glad to know that Buzz had a good friend he could count on at work. Buzz just sat and looked at his still friend and simply said "you are my hero Shawn". Frannie told Shawn that if he would hurry up and wake up that she would make sire that her didn't have to eat this nasty hospital food.

Lassie was next in the room. No one but the unconscious Shawn knew that he came to the hospital. He nervously sat in the bed next to Shawn and said " I know that you are not a Psychic there are no such things as Psychics and if there were you would not be one of them. It would be easier for me if you were a psychic then your record could be attributed to the spirits. I know that your record is because of the man that you are not some spirit mumbo jumbo. I also know that I am the one who forced you into that lie and for that I am sorry. I have never met anyone like you before. I know that you can see someone on T.V. and tell me if that person committed a crime. I know that you can recreate complex crime scenes in your head and your ability to reason through a problem is unreal. You are this incredible mix of your mom and dad and the amaziness of how you were created. I spent too many years being jealous of you. If you will wake up I cant promise we will be pals but I will promise to work with you better and listen to you more. You are amazing Shawn Spencer and I am so glad to know you." With that final admiration he patted Shawn's hand and walked out of the room.

The finale friend to make the pilgrimage to make peace with their mutual friend was Gus. Now Gus did not have much to say to Shawn. He believed like the doctor did and made sure he told the people in his life what they needed to hear from him. He wouldn't hang up the phone with his mother without telling her that he loved her and Shawn was no different. They were guys so there were not too many I love you's thrown around but neither friend doubted the love of the other friend not for a second. Once when Gus's sang with some friends from college he saw that they were fighting it made Shawn worry that could happen to them. Gus assured him then that if I was still your friend after all the crap you put me through then I always will be your friend. Gus did not ignore this chance though he grabbed Shawn's hand like all the other friends had done before and told his life long friend that he loved him so much and he begged him to open his eyes and come back to him. They had more cases to solve and more trouble to cause. Gus was shocked when the hand that he loosely held slowly balled up into a fist and with a tear in his eye he gently bumped his friends fist back. That simple motion assured Gus that his friend would come back to them soon.

It had been a long four days with only small signs of life from the usual energetic Psychic. The chair beside his bed was rarely empty, friends held vigil all through the day and night. Henry was back in the chair and he could not stop looking at his frail son. In that big bed Shawn didn't look like the SBPD super star private investigator he looked more like the ten-year-old boy that he would watch sleeping when he had a cold. Shawn had improved over the week, the breathing tube was now gone and so were some of the other wires. The steady beeping of the heart monitor still echoed through the room, but that was a comfort to Henry, as long as that kept bleeping he knew that his son was still with them. Henry started to fill Shawn in on what was happening in the world he told him of news stories that he said would make great cases for you son. He also filled him in on his friends and the happenings at the station without him. He told him about the collection jar one of the officers started to help cover Shawn's expenses. He told him about his Mom and how she wasn't here but she called him every couple of hours for an update. He even face timed her from his room once and allowed her to say her peace with him. He admitted when he heard what she told him he could barely keep from crying. He told him about all the cards and flowers that lined his room and who sent what.

When Henry ran out of words he just stopped and looked at his son. Willing for him to open his eyes. Begging God to give him another chance with this miracle child that he gave him. The rest of the evening was spent in a still silence. A desperate father constantly watching for any signs of life in his son. About an hour latter Henry had to rub his eyes and look again, could it be? Shawn opened his eyes and looked right at Henry and with a barely audible voice he managed a weak I love you Dad. There had never been four sweeter words to father's ears. He jumped up and hugged his son; too tightly at first when he heard a faint moan from his son he lightened the hug. He grabbed his sons face and kissed his forehead. He Smiled and said I will be right back and went to the door and yelled for a doctor. The Southern Doctor was on call and came running.

"What's wrong" was yelled as she entered the room and when she entered she saw Henry sitting next to a wide-awake Shawn with a huge smile on his face. He managed a faint Hi to the doctor and she stood there with an open mouth and a huge smile. "WELL WELL WELL Mr. Spencer so very nice to meet you". She began to asses his vitals and sat there next to an ecstatic father as Shawn told the pair what he remembered of the incident that caused his injuries and what he remembered of the people that came to his bed side. He cheerfully chirped that Frannie McNab promised him food and could he eat something. The doctor laughed and said, "not yet you have to start back on food slow, but we will see what we can do."

The sheepish father asked his weary son how much he remembered of what he said to him. At first Shawn said not much then smiled at his Dad and said, " I love you Dad". Henry knew he had to leave the room it was bad enough for asleep Shawn to hear him cry but he couldn't bear for awake Shawn to see him. He smiled at his weak but alive son, he started to say those three words back to him but the tears were all ready welling up inside his throat so he just smiled again patted his hand and raised his phone to Shawn and said be right back.

Shawn was sitting awake in this dark room all alone thinking about the people that had come the week before and made there peace with his unconscious self. He smiled at the thought that Lassie even came to say his peace. He heard every persons words whirl through his head. His whole life he struggled to make people like him and to have friends. He used his sarcasm to mask a lot of the feelings that he never knew how to handle. He smiled and thought could I finally have what I have spent my whole life looking for. A woman to love me for who I am, a father that would step in front of a bullet for me. He smiled and thought that man was always there I just had to grow up enough to see that he was there. I have a friend that puts up with me and is a friend for life and coworkers who are also my friends. He smiled and thought when did my life become so amazing. All Shawn could do was smile at the celling as the tears fell from his eyes. These were not tears of pain, all though it was time for some more morphine they were tears of joy and amazement. It took this horrible crime for him to realize how amazing his life was.

Six weeks latter:

As Juliet walked up to the door of the Spencer House she smiled at what she heard through the door. Shawn was hollering at his father to stop fussing over him he could walk to the bathroom without him but Henry just ignored his fussing son. He was holding Shawn's shoulders as he passed Juliet opening the door. Shawn mouthed "HELP ME" to Juliet and she just smiled. Life was going to be okay. Shawn had a long road ahead of him but he was fighting with his Dad and that was a good sign. She sat in the chair next to the hospital bed that Shawn had inhabited since his release from the hospital and smiled thinking life was going to be all right.


End file.
